CEREBRAL BOINKFEST: Just the Basics

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Just the Basics

iPhone 4 image courtesy of Apple.

Apple just announced the new iPhone 5, which has some users very annoyed, having recently purchased iPhone 4. Every few months it seems that there's a new mobile phone that is quicker, smarter, with more bells and whistles. That's why I was so amused to learn of what might be called the "anti-smart" phone.

John's Phone is touted as the world's most basic cell phone. Designed by the Dutch firm John Doe Amsterdam, it is being marketed as perfect for the elderly, children, or technophobes. Or people who want just the basics.

No internet, no camera, no text-messaging, no selection of ringtones, just big keys that one can use to call anywhere in the world. No explanation is required to learn how to use it. Just call and hangup, adjust the volume, lock or unlock it, and one can save numbers to speed dial under each number key.

No address book, or at least not one you access within the phone itself. There is a 32-page paper address book attached to the back of the phone with an ink pen resembling a stylus (a unique twist!), a notepad, and for gamers the "games" section in the notepad allows you to play tic-tac-toe. This little book also has pages printed with "Write your text message here", with lines for To, From and the message.

Since it is an unlocked cell phone, it can be used with a prepaid, contract, national, or international SIM card. It will not work on 3G or CDMA networks. There is an integrated antenna, but no speaker phone. There is a single ringtone with three settings: loud, normal, and silent. All three can be set to vibrate.

There is a small screen that displays inbound and outbound calls. A set of earphones comes with each phone. The battery is good for six hours of use, and about three weeks for standby. The battery is an integrated lithium-ion battery, chargeable by using the (EU) adapter or USB cable included.

The phone is made of high-quality plastic and is water-resistant. It weighs roughly 3-1/3 ounces, and is about 4.13" x 2.36" and is .59" thick. John's phone is available in snow (white), business (black), tree (brown keys on black), grass (green), sweet (pink), and bar (metallic gold). They cost $100 each ($150 for "bar") and shipping, via UPS or PostNL, is $10 for countries in the EU (free for the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, France, Luxembourg, Austria, Czech Republic, Italy, Denmark, and the United Kingdom); $15 for the rest of the world. Delivery is between 1-6 working days.